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July 24, 2012
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She keeps fucking up the pronouns (2.5 years - I do not think there should be an excuse form her anymore)

And now she recently suggested my transition probably runs counter to "God's Plan"

-I don't believe in God. She knows that.-

Question: Should I expend anymore effort at all again trying to save the relationship?

or just, maybe its time to 'let it rip apart'?






Sincerely,

I am tried, I am nervous, I am angry, I am ready to kill someone or something, and I am anxious for Mikhail to come to Philadelphia, and will purge out the bullshit in my life until He gets here and Mikhail is in my arms.
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:iconjimmy-rustler:
You are being a selfish prick. To your mom you will always be her son. ITS A TITLE, not a gender spasific thing. And for someone who claims to be genderqueer you sure are upset about pronouns.
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:iconrai-starstreak:
In my opinion, if you're in the position to do so, you can just say "I'll talk to you again when you can call me by the proper pronouns and the proper name". That way, if she's out of your life, it's her own decision for refusing to be respectful to you. You shouldn't feel bad about putting barriers between you and people who make you feel bad/don't respect you. There's no excuse for refusing to use the right pronouns/name.
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:iconnamuciziru:
~NamuCiziru Jul 25, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Let me start by saying this: My mother is a selfish, lazy, irresponsible person who was never made to be a parent. She'd done everything she could in my teenage years to prevent me from ever leaving home and keep me as her little baby forever, including refuse to let me learn how to drive and stealing at least half of my paycheck. Things were so bad that I had to ditch house and take refuge with my much-older half-brother, who I still live with today. However, my mother and I are still on friendly terms (at least on a superficial level). We just had a nice pleasant phone conversation just a few minutes ago. Call me evil if you'd like, but I keep her around to pay the bills. I can't afford college, that's just how it is. I don't know how young you are, but I assume you're not older than I am, which means you need your parents just like I do, whether you like it or not. Don't burn bridges. You never know just who you're going to have to fall back on.
_______________________________________________

Sometimes religion plays a large role in whether a parent accepts their child's identity. Something that might help would be to show her that maybe God wanted it to be this way. Scientific studies have shown a significant correlation between transgendered individuals and hormonal/developmental oddities regarding one's sex (in other words, shit's biological and present at birth, not a choice.) If that's the case, well, God made that choice when He made you. God presents everyone with obstacles to overcome that will help them grow into good people. Perhaps your obstacle is to fight for your right to live as who you were truly meant to. It might be your place to help the community learn tolerance and acceptance for all God's creations, including yourself.

Of course, I'm not a religious person myself and that's just an argument I think would appeal to them. Pick apart what you think would work best with her, and expand where needed. Good luck!
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:iconzabukawaii:
*ZabuKawaii Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If she were just a friend or something, I'd say it would be time to let her go if she really refuses to budge -but she's your mom, and the only one you've got, really. Some mom's are open to change when it comes to their children, other's take a lot of time. Say what you will, she's your mom and she loves you because you're her child -she just needs a lot more time than you think with getting used to your transition. Don't give up on her yet, but don't put too much pressure on your relationship. I think that's why she's retaliating in the way she is, I think you should just be like, "Hey, mom, I respect your opinion, but this is who I am and that's the way it will stay." and let her get used to it on her own time.

A parent, no matter how stubborn, isn't someone you should consider giving up. That's just my opinion, though.
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:iconvaselinecats:
Give it time, bro. It will take a while but she will come around because even though she is stubborn she is your mother and loves you very much. She may not always say it directly but she probably thinks you are a wonderful kid no matter what your gender is or what your heart wants. :)
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:iconcheshirenekoboi:
~CheshireNekoBoi Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
2.5 years should not be a limit enforced on your mother as to how comfortable she should be refering as your proper pronouns. A friend of mine has been transitioning for 4 years and their parents have only just begun to be comfortable using proper pronouns and his male name.

Every parent deals with it at their own pace - do not force them into it, it'll only make matters worse. Instead, just take things in stride and be confident in your own identity, then she'll follow in pursuit when she's ready.
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:icondanielle-maddie:
~Danielle-Maddie Jul 24, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I for one don't really understand keeping up a relationship with people that don't accept and respect you for who and what you are.
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:iconverganza-de-sasuke:
~VERGANZA-DE-SASUKE Jul 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I am going to quit it soon - I see no gain at this rate with Mom.
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:icondanielle-maddie:
~Danielle-Maddie Jul 24, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I think that would be for the best. Best of luck.
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